PrintJournal 22
14 July, 2015
My darling,
It goes without saying that I think about you every day….. but I’ll say it any way, You are so much in my mind as little things daily remind me of events and experiences that we have shared together over the years. Because these are memories, I can be selective in what I chose to think about. Most of the time I can filter out memories of a negative kind.
Sometimes I find myself smirking – if not laughing. Sometimes I am aware of tears rolling down my cheeks. Mostly these reflections are so precious I wouldn’t surrender them for a moment. They are part of a wonderful 50 years we spent together. Sometimes I find myself shaking my head almost with a sense of awe or disbelief that I should have been privileged to have you as my life’s partner.
Do you remember our pet name for each other? “Tweetie Pie”!! Our peers used to think we were a little strange….and we took pleasure as we watched them try to come to terms with our choice of that pet name?
Your eyes and your laughter were what captured my attention in the first instance. Your eyes were so expressive and your laughter so contagious. There was an openness and freshness in your face and an air of the mischievous that was so attractive. To be very honest, you were easy on the eyes, too – if you get my drift!!
I don’t think it was love at first sight for either of us but it didn’t take long for interest to turn to attraction and attraction to turn to love – maybe the second or third sight!!
But, in some ways, memory can be a two-edged sword. Some of those memories that try to capture my mind and establish a beachhead of failure, guilt and condemnation in my life. I find myself reflecting over the last 2-3 years and wondering if I did all that I could have done to make you as comfortable as possible. People assure me that I did. I wonder.
In those moments, I select that memory of you in those last weeks, catching my attention, looking deep into my eyes with your own (oh, so expressive) eyes and whispering, “Thank you for caring for me”. And the tears would come (just like they are doing now).
I am so honoured to have had that privilege of caring for you over that time. Thank you.
I will be in touch again soon
But until then
You remain the love of my life
Mike
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