PrintJournal 32
21 August, 2015
My Darling,
Well, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed a week’s “holiday” with Keith & Tanya and I expect to be back at Aminya, probably Saturday night. Their caring hospitality is a wonderful gift. Again, I can see your caring influence in their lives and the way they care for others.
My journey continues day by day as I seek to fulfil my part of our calling together. How long that will take I have no way of knowing. What I do know is that I miss your presence in my life more than I could ever describe. I still find it difficult to grasp the reality of going on without you.
Obviously I don’t have a choice in the matter. However, I think I may be reaching the point of accepting the reality that the remainder of my part of our journey is a solo flight.
From time to time, I read back over the letters I’ve written to you since you left, darling, and each time I see some aspect of those last 12-18 months we had together in a new light.
Sadly, it has taken the illness of two other couples to change my perspective on our own situation. It is distressing to see another husband and wife desperately hoping for good news when they go to the specialist to hear the results of the chemo treatment.
As you pointed out to me on more than one occasion, this was a stress which was not part of our experience because there was no treatment for MND. The course of the disease was predictable and inevitable. This, in turn, meant that we could prepare ourselves for your death. I think that our situation also provided the same opportunity of preparation for many others.
It sounds strange to say that the lack of treatment may be considered a blessing in that it removed the uncertainty factor and enabled us to focus on our preparation for the end (beginning??). Which of those two scenarios would I choose with the benefit of hindsight? Treatment with some small possibility of success and the accompanying uncertainty or no treatment with the predictability of how this will work out. Good question.
I’m aching for one of the couples because they are hoping like crazy that their news will be “remission” when it is obvious that she is going downhill rapidly. With that mindset they are unable to make preparation for their journey through the Valley.
I don’t know if you feel the same as me but I can now thank the Lord for the way He shaped and used our journey though the valley.
I’ll will be in touch again soon,
But Until Then…..
You remain the love of my life
Mike
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