PrintJournal 37
15 September, 2015
Hello again, my love,
Yesterday was the 5 month ‘anniversary’ since your death…when you broke free from the body that had become your prison. As I have done countless times over those few months I reflected again on what I could remember of that day.
I spent some time cleaning up the book case in the study and I came across a book called, “The Book of Days”. It was like a diary or journal that you had kept while you were in High Care for those 12 months. I had noticed you writing in it from time to time but I felt that it should be private and if there was something you wanted to tell me, you would.
Since you are not here (!) and won’t be coming back before the Lord’s Return, I thought it would be OK if I had a peek. Well, what a treasure of insights awaited me. The first entry was on your 70th birthday. The second entry was just one week later – which was Keith’s birthday. “Dr. Walker said today that he was “mildly concerned” that I could have a Motor Neurone problem.
Then comes a period of a couple of weeks where nothing further is recorded. Except for one day in which you had written ….
“For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty saviour. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)
Following that verse you have written “Thank you, Lord” From the very onset of this disease, you maintained an attitude of acceptance and gratitude that was nothing short of inspirational.
But it was the next entry that changed our lives forever.
“The diagnosis is now official – I have Motor Neurone Disease. Today Dr. Walker indicated that I had 1-3 years. If I am still here after3 years I am to ring him and tell him he was wrong.
The next day you wrote down Psalm 119/169-176 as found in The Message
Let my cry come right into your presence, GOD; provide me with the insight that comes only from your Word. Give my request your personal attention, rescue me on the terms of your promise. Let praise cascade off my lips; after all, you've taught me the truth about life! And let your promises ring from my tongue; every order you've given is right. Put your hand out and steady me since I've chosen to live by your counsel. I'm homesick, GOD, for your salvation; I love it when you show yourself! Invigorate my soul so I can praise you well, use your decrees to put iron in my soul. And should I wander off like a lost sheep—seek me! I'll recognize the sound of your voice.
Your inspiration continues in my life as I read and ponder what I stumbled upon yesterday.
But Until Then…
You remain the love of my life
Mike
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