PrintJOURNAL 48
23 October, 2015
Hello my love,
I again find myself reflecting on grief. I hoped this is OK to share with you because I don’t want these letters to you to be “downers”. But in the name of being honest I need “to tell it like it is”. I am coming to realise that everyone on the planet will, sooner or later, grieve some significant loss.
I think I have mentioned this in a previous letter but I continue to be troubled by issues to do with memory or, more particularly, the loss thereof. Is this a possible outcome or even a symptom of grief in the setting of Parkinson’s Disease? Like MND, PD is a neurological, progressive malfunction of parts of the brain. Is memory a factor in either disease?
As we talk about you, your death – especially the day of your death, it’s like I wasn’t even there that day. I don’t think the children are sick of my questions yet but every time the subject comes up, I receive more information – new information. I have no idea how the day was divided. Who had meals and when? Did I leave you at any time during that day? Did we have any visitors that day?
So here’s my summary. The mind has the capacity to either delete stuff or retain it – much like my computer. Memory is a wonderful gift. It is a life-saver for me because I am on my own and I have plenty of thinking time. To summons my memory to retrieve this or that “album” is a great way to keep our memories alive.
Anyway, I find a measure of comfort that the rest of my memory seems to be functioning OK. I think!!
Next Sunday I will be teaching in the morning service. I have called the message, “A Journey Complete”. It is your story, my love. I will be presenting it as a tribute to you. I know people will be inspired by your example. And so your legacy lives on, as your journey is now complete.
Well, I can only hope that these ramblings of mine make sense.
But Until Then
You remain the love of my life
Mike
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