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• THE JOURNEY IS OVER (JOURNAL 90)

  3 June, 2016

  If you were to read our journal entry for this day last year, you would read the following Today's instalment… [more]

• JOURNAL 89

  22 May, 2016

  Hi sweetheart, Sometimes I experience periods of “What if…?”. These are times when my mind seems… [more]

• JOURNAL 88

  17 May, 2016

  Hi Darling, Coming home from the hospital with a mechanical device fitted to my chest – a P.E.G. I think it… [more]

• JOURNAL 87

  13 May, 2016

  JOURNAL 87 The doctor said I can go home this morning. The surgery has had the desired effect and this new means of… [more]

• JOURNAL 86

  10 May, 2016

  JOURNAL 86 MOTHER’S DAY Hello sweetheart, I haven’t spoken to our children as to… [more]

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• JOURNAL 59

  4 December, 2015

  Sweetheart,

  When people ask me how I am doing, I endeavour to respect the genuineness of their enquiry. So, rather than a simple, “I’m doing reasonably well, thanks for asking”. (For most that may be all they want to know). But for many of our closer friends I recognise that their enquiry has more depth to it than would be satisfied by that general response.

  So I try to think of illustrations that convey how I see my life at the moment and thus show respect for the integrity of the question.

  Well, at the moment, I am very conscious of the fact that you are not here. This is exacerbated by the realisation (which still hasn’t hit me after these 7 + months) that this will not change. The best way I can illustrate what this feels like is to refer back to that season in my life when I was learning to fly and gain a pilot’s licence. For the first 10-12 weeks the instructor guided me, encouraged me, explained things to me. He was always there.

  The memory of one day in particular stands out above others. We were just finishing that day’s lesson which was essentially doing circuits. Land/take off, /land/take off.  Then he instructed me to do one more circuit….on my own!! My first solo! As I lined up on the end of the runway, I looked across at an empty seat. But there was always an instructor there. His presence was the only security I had! However would I manage without him to support me and help me fulfill my goal of being qualified to fly an aircraft?

  Now, transfer that image from aviation to separation.

  But Bev has always been there. I needed her input into my understanding so that together we could navigate through life. Her seat is empty and from now until my call home I am flying solo.

  Some things are hard to explain but I hope that this illustration gives people a sense of what your absence means to me.

  But Until Then

  You Remain the Love of my Life

  Mike