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• JOURNAL 55

  17 November, 2015

  Hi Sweetheart, I’ve been working on the draft of a Christmas card over the last week. And that may be the… [more]

• JOURNAL 54

  14 November, 2015

  I’ve been wandering through your “Book of Days” again. What a treasure trove it is proving to be! My… [more]

• JOURNAL 53

  10 November, 2015

  Journal 53 Hi Sweetheart, Do you recall the number of times you urged me to do more exercise, like walking as… [more]

• JOURNAL 52

  6 November, 2015

  Hello again, sweetheart, I look so forward to writing these letters to you. I think it must go back to our courtship… [more]

• JOURNAL 51

  3 November, 2015

  My Darling, Sometimes the awareness of your absence is so strong that it hurts. As with most things that hurt or… [more]

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• JOURNAL 59

  4 December, 2015

  Sweetheart,

  When people ask me how I am doing, I endeavour to respect the genuineness of their enquiry. So, rather than a simple, “I’m doing reasonably well, thanks for asking”. (For most that may be all they want to know). But for many of our closer friends I recognise that their enquiry has more depth to it than would be satisfied by that general response.

  So I try to think of illustrations that convey how I see my life at the moment and thus show respect for the integrity of the question.

  Well, at the moment, I am very conscious of the fact that you are not here. This is exacerbated by the realisation (which still hasn’t hit me after these 7 + months) that this will not change. The best way I can illustrate what this feels like is to refer back to that season in my life when I was learning to fly and gain a pilot’s licence. For the first 10-12 weeks the instructor guided me, encouraged me, explained things to me. He was always there.

  The memory of one day in particular stands out above others. We were just finishing that day’s lesson which was essentially doing circuits. Land/take off, /land/take off.  Then he instructed me to do one more circuit….on my own!! My first solo! As I lined up on the end of the runway, I looked across at an empty seat. But there was always an instructor there. His presence was the only security I had! However would I manage without him to support me and help me fulfill my goal of being qualified to fly an aircraft?

  Now, transfer that image from aviation to separation.

  But Bev has always been there. I needed her input into my understanding so that together we could navigate through life. Her seat is empty and from now until my call home I am flying solo.

  Some things are hard to explain but I hope that this illustration gives people a sense of what your absence means to me.

  But Until Then

  You Remain the Love of my Life

  Mike