JOURNAL 61
11 December, 2015
Hello, my love,
They say that Christmas time is a time of engaging with grief in a new way for those who have lost loved ones in the preceding 12 months. So far, the ubiquitous “they” (whoever “they” may be) are right on the mark.
Christmas cards are arriving on a daily basis just like they have done for the 50 years of our married life. But now they are addressed to “Mike and family”, not to “Mike, Bev and family”. How could something that simple stir the deep waters of grief and loss?
Of course, these cards also convey a positive dimension. They come from family and friends, near and far.
These are the people who, over the years, have added flavour and colour to our lives. One of the most powerful examples of this truth happened last Friday when our original youth group met for a Christmas lunch. When I describe the scenario of the remaining 16 original members to our current relational networks, people just shake their heads in wonder. “Don’t they know how to stop?” is the most common comment! Imagine their reaction when I tell them that the group still meets on a monthly basis! After 50+ years.
There was a lot of nostalgia in the many conversations that day. References to past members were many – especially to you, my love! I felt so proud as I listened to different ones tell of what you had meant to them and how your example had urged them on in their walk with Jesus.
It was a special day.
L had asked me previously if I would like to stay on for a few extra days 0ver that weekend and, since Karen was free to stay with her dear old dad, I said ‘yes’ and it was a very relaxing weekend.
Now to manage Christmas. I guess that individuals who are newly acquainted with the reality of death will be surprised at the little things that trigger special memories and fill them with a rush of emotion. Conversely, they may be equally surprised when the things that they expected to bring them undone don’t touch them as expected.
I guess it will be a little more than interesting to see how I respond in that setting of Christmas for the first time without you.
But Until Then…..
You remain the love of my life
Mike