PrintJournal (7) + Letter
31 May, 2015
Hi Darling,
I must tell you about a “God moment” or “God encounter” I had the day after your “Celebration of Life” service.
I was in our unit struggling to come to terms with the fact that you had left my life. The finality of that truth was confronting me. You see, heaven is more precious to me now that you are there. I began to realise how easy it would be to disconnect from the realities and responsibilities of the present and become a hermit whose sole and total focus was to live in the anticipation of being re-united with you some day.
Then the strangest thing happened. The words and tune of a song began to form in my mind. The “strange” aspect of this encounter is that I have no recollection of ever having heard this song before. It was all something of a jumble. But there was enough content in the words to have a guess at the title.
So I went and typed into Google the phrase “Until Then”. Lo and behold, there it was complete, with all the verses and music and sung by a black man with a glorious voice. I sat on the floor and cried as the words washed over me. Here is the first verse and chorus
My heart can sing when I pause to remember
A heartache here is but a stepping stone;
Along a trail that’s winding always upward,
This troubled world is not my final home.
But until then my heart will go on singing
Until then with joy I’ll carry on
Until the day my eyes behold the City
Until the day God calls me home.
I have no sense whatever that I have heard this song before. Yet there it was, on the Internet! So obviously I didn’t write it! I think that sometime in the way distant past I must have heard it and God locked it away in my heart until I needed it and it was released to my consciousness. And I needed it that Saturday morning!!
It is my theme song for whatever time remains to me on earth. It gives me the balance between the “NOW” and the “THEN”. Instead of the seclusion of the hermit, I can go on singing with joy as I embrace the opportunities in the “NOW” and anticipate that which awaits me “THEN”.
You may not have noticed but I use that phrase to sign off at the end of each letter to you. There is so much still to share as my journey resumes.
But until then…
You remain the love of my life.
Mike.
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