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• THE JOURNEY IS OVER (JOURNAL 90)

  3 June, 2016

  If you were to read our journal entry for this day last year, you would read the following Today's instalment… [more]

• JOURNAL 89

  22 May, 2016

  Hi sweetheart, Sometimes I experience periods of “What if…?”. These are times when my mind seems… [more]

• JOURNAL 88

  17 May, 2016

  Hi Darling, Coming home from the hospital with a mechanical device fitted to my chest – a P.E.G. I think it… [more]

• JOURNAL 87

  13 May, 2016

  JOURNAL 87 The doctor said I can go home this morning. The surgery has had the desired effect and this new means of… [more]

• JOURNAL 86

  10 May, 2016

  JOURNAL 86 MOTHER’S DAY Hello sweetheart, I haven’t spoken to our children as to… [more]

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• JOURNAL 77

  8 March, 2016

  Hello Sweetheart,

  I was looking for a definition of ‘epiphany’ earlier today because of something that happened last night. The definition that came up on the screen was simply,

  “the moment  in which you suddenly see or understand something in a new or very clear way”

  I was preparing to go to bed when, without warning, I suddenly thought “These past 12 months have been prayer-less months”.

  Now, as you well know, I have never been a “Prayer Warrior” or anything vaguely like that. I would find it embarrassing if I had to reveal the number of times during our married life when you often had to ask me if I would pray for us as a family.

  Most of the time I left that initiative with you.

  The very last time I prayed with you was on April 12^th at 1.55 am – just moments before you “went home to be with the Lord”.

  Last night’s epiphany seemed to say to me, “and at that moment when you said “Amen”, something in you switched off. And from that day to this you have stayed switched off when it comes to prayer. Twelve months without a vital communication prayer link.

  Oh, I still know how to string enough words together to give the impression of praying. After all, I am a Pastor!!! But something happened the night you died. Did something die within me, as well?

  In the same way that I don’t expect my letters to you to be answered, I don’t expect my prayer to God to be answered. Could that be it? I experienced the ultimate loss on that night last April, and part of my response has been to not pray. I don’t think I’m being petulant.

  Diagnosis is one thing.

  The pursuit of health and healing is quite another.

  But until then…..

  You remain the love of my life

  Mike