Blog

• THE JOURNEY IS OVER (JOURNAL 90)

  3 June, 2016

  If you were to read our journal entry for this day last year, you would read the following Today's instalment… [more]

• JOURNAL 89

  22 May, 2016

  Hi sweetheart, Sometimes I experience periods of “What if…?”. These are times when my mind seems… [more]

• JOURNAL 88

  17 May, 2016

  Hi Darling, Coming home from the hospital with a mechanical device fitted to my chest – a P.E.G. I think it… [more]

• JOURNAL 87

  13 May, 2016

  JOURNAL 87 The doctor said I can go home this morning. The surgery has had the desired effect and this new means of… [more]

• JOURNAL 86

  10 May, 2016

  JOURNAL 86 MOTHER’S DAY Hello sweetheart, I haven’t spoken to our children as to… [more]

Print

1. Home→
2. Blog→
3. JOURNAL 80

• JOURNAL 80

  29 March, 2016

  Our Journey Through The Valley

  The regular readers of Barnabas will probably sense that we are coming up to the first anniversary of Bev’s death – 12^th April, 2015. I found myself wondering recently what were we writing in our journal 12 months ago when things were reaching “critical mass”?

  What follows was written by both of us just 32 days before she died.

   

  Our Journey Through The Valley (121)

  11 March, 2015

  As Bev’s breathing is increasingly compromised, her capacity for speech is also diminished and we are learning slowly and (sometimes) painfully some of the implications  of poor communication through the usual channels of speech, action and inter-action. I find myself often leaning down close to her so that I don’t miss a word. For Bev (at this point in our journey) speech is the big challenge. For her to talk involves stress and strain – physical and mental.

  Now, try and imagine a situation in which two-way verbal communication is no longer possible. Add to that the scenario in which one of these two people can no longer give hand signals.  If you can imagine that, then you have some idea of what awaits the two of us in a future that has already begun.

  If Bev has something as simple as an itchy nose, how does she communicate that to Mike? She has lost the use of her hands and arms completely. She is a whole person imprisoned in a body that is increasingly dysfunctional and non-coperative

  Bev continues to be a channel of inspiration to me. I am inspired by her courage. By her submission. By her honesty. By her concern for me, that I have adequate “down time”.  That she can think so much about others at a time when she is so depleted inspires me more than I can tell.

  For my part, I have more questions now than ever. As I watch the love of my life incrementally robbed of her health, I can’t help but wonder why the purposes of God can’t be realized in ways less cruel.

  Finally, I drag myself alongside Peter as he questions Jesus desire to wash his feet. As Peter tried to process this scene in front of him. “This is all wrong. I just can’t accept it”. It is Jesus’ response that  catches my heart

  
  ⁷  Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.”

   

  Oh, I hope so!!