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If you had your life to live over again, would you make any significant changes? In retrospect, what would you do differently? Entering a new year seems to be an appropriate time to ponder these question because, sadly for too many of us, the remainder of the year we will probably be too busy to reflect along these lines, let alone entertain the idea of making significant changes.
For me, such reflection comes easier these days. Looking back over my life from the vantage point of retirement is both rewarding and challenging. It can also be a dangerous exercise if one is committed to the impossible goal of achieving perfection. So, without beating up on myself, here are some thoughts from my heart to yours.
One of my sons asked me recently, "Dad, how's your mentoring going with those younger pastors?"As I answered him I was surprised just how quickly I began thinking about how poorly I had done with the opportunities I've had to mentor him. In fact, that awareness quickly extended to all three of my children. My life, would I change anything?
Yes, I would devote more time to mentoring my own children. Mind you, I'm very grateful and very proud of the people they have become and the way they handle the issues and challenges of life. I suspect that this has more to do with their mother than with their father! Nonetheless, I hold on to the hope that I have made some positive contribution to their lives, small though it be.
Speaking of their mother, that's another relationship that, given my time over again, I would try to do differently. Her heart cry has always been that I give her (and our children) quality time. On those (many) occasions when I lost my balance and became too absorbed in "ministry", she would challenge those inappropriate priorities. I recall the time when she said to me one evening, "How come everyone else in the church gets 'Mr. Nice Guy' and we get the left-overs?" Yes, given my time over, I would focus more on giving my family both quality time and quantity time. We can't have one without the other.
I would also be more pro-active in developing a 'hobby' that had nothing to do with pastoral ministry; something that from the very outset of my ministry years would be a total distraction . Learning to fly became that for me but not until I had been a Pastor for some 14 years during which time I was 'hobby-less'. Even so, that whole experience added significant balance to my life. To be in the pulpit on Sunday morning and to be in the cockpit on Monday morning proved to be very healthy in terms of my overall well-being.
Physical exercise is another area of life to which I would give much greater attention if given the opportunity again. I think I have tended to treat the physical exercise issue as something of a luxury for those who have the time. And Pastors don't have the time! Now, as I approach the end of my seventh decade, while I am thankful for the measure of physical health that I have, I believe that I could be in better shape if I had been more deliberate on this issue.
Well, I'm sure there would be other aspects of life and living that, if I thought about it, would come to mind for consideration.I record these in the hope that someone who reads them might just do what I missed doing and, please God, be the better for that choice.
