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As reported in my last log entry, I have been visiting my friend, the Psalmist, at the familiar address of Psalm 42 & 43.I appreciate the way he unpacks his experience so that I can see the components of depression as they effect the past, the present and the future.
The Psalmist told me about the importance of recognising what is happening in the present and how vital it is to honestly own my condition in the now. I must avoid the temptation of denial - pretending that things are better or different from the reality. Listen to the following statements from the Psalmist:
"Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?"(42/5)
"Now I am deeply discouraged". (42/6)
"O God, my rock, I cry; Why have you forgotten me?"(42/9)
"Why have you tossed me aside? Why must I wander around in grief, oppressed by my enemies" (43/2)
What honesty! What transparency! There is no false spirituality here. No pretence of spiritual maturity or 'victory'. Just an honest acknowledgement of struggle and fragility. There are those in the Christian community who would see such honesty as a "negative confession" and, therefore, a betrayal of the Lord Who never leaves or abandons us. I guess the truth is that I can't begin to deal with the issue of depression until I admit that I have an issue. Denial of the situation will create an immediate blockage for healing to come.
Equally, excusing the presence of depression in my life or minimizing that reality will also hinder the restoration process. I need to acknowledge the reality of depression in my life to myself first of all. Obviously I can't tell others if I won't tell myself!
The Psalmist said, "Now I am deeply discouraged". (42/5) There it is. An open statement of the truth.
Then I need to acknowledge my current condition to God Himself. "Why have you tossed me aside?" (43/2) This question was directed to God. The Psalmist somehow knew that a relationship with God involved truth speaking to truth. There is no room for pretence.
Finally, I need to acknowledge my condition to a few trusted 'others' - people in my life who journey with me and who are committed to my spiritual welfare. There is support and accountability in such relationships.
But as I listen to the Psalmist emphasise the place of the present and the need to honestly own the reality of depression, I discover that there is something else that I need to acknowledge and affirm.
"But each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs,praying to God who gives me life". (42/8).
The Psalmist knows that, despite what he may 'feel' because of his depression, the fact is that God still pours His unfailing love on him. He affirms that by faith - even though I suspect he doesn't necessarily feel it. He trusts his God, not his feelings. Further, he refuses to stop singing just because he doesn't feel like singing. Equally, he doesn't stop praying because he doesn't feel like praying.
Well, I've sure gained a lot from my visit to my friend, The Psalmist, this time. But it's obvious that he has much more to teach me. I'm looking forward to my next visit in a couple of days.
