PrintThe Ultimate Affirmation (3)
The last 2 entries in my journal/log about affirmation and flattery have provoked a further response to a verse in Proverbs that I stumbled upon yesterday while looking for something else.
"Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but a person is tested by being praised". (Prov 27:21 NLT)
How I react to criticism reveals much about the kind of person I am. But how I react to praise and affirmation reveals much more. I note that the New Living Translation of this verse offers the word "flattery" as a legitimate alternative to "praise". In light of the two previous entries in my logbook, I can say that whether I am the object of praise (in its positive, affirming sense) or flattery (in its manipulative, negative sense), how I respond says a great deal about how I see others and how I understand myself.
As a Pastor, I have been the object of both affirming praise and manipulative flattery more times than I care to remember. Sometimes my response has revealed the vulnerability of my need to be needed. Sometimes it has exposed my desire to please other significant people in my life. But there have been other occasions (thankfully!) when I have been able to discern and accept the value of positive affirmation or praise as well as recognize the negative agendas behind flattery and resist them.
"……but a person is tested by being praised". It's true that how we respond to adverse circumstances, reports and experiences is a measure of who we are and what we are like. But let a person be praised and lauded, then watch their response. We will learn a lot about that person that can be known no other way.
Yesterday I received an email that was very warm in its affirmation and commendation. Fortunately it contained no hidden agendas or expectations. It was the genuine article. It lifted my spirit, warmed my heart and encouraged me to press on with life and ministry.
These reflections all take me back to where this line of thought started. All those who love God and seek to serve Him want to hear His affirmation at the close of life here and now; "Well done, good and faithful servant". This is the ultimate affirmation.
But I want to live every day under the banner of that affirmation.
