PrintHaving made a confession in my last posting, I am keen to insert a disclaimer here! Because of my years as a Pastor and as a mentor to some of my fellow Pastors, I know that my experience of wandering is not unique to me. Nonetheless, I need to own and to record this reality in my life.
Maybe someone will read these notes one day and find relief in that they thought they were the only one who, in the words of the old hymn, said….
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it; Prone to leave the God I love
Strangely, the lure of that 'distant land' subtlety changes as the years go by. In other words, the nature of temptation changes as one grows older. The temptations of youth are often quite different from the temptations of old age. But they all have the same impact if not resisted & conquered. They call us away from our Heavenly Father and back to the distant land.
There's something else that I need to record here and it's this: the distant land is not so distant. In the story Jesus told the far away land is a matter of geography. In my experience, the distant land is a matter of relationship, not geography. I can get there in no time at all!!
For me, the recovery process from such seasons usually involves an extended visit to Psalm 32.When we all get to heaven, I want to thank King David for having the courage to record his experience with such honesty and transparency. He describes so well the dynamics of disobedience as well as the rejoicing of restoration. David begins at the conclusion of the restoration process:
Oh, what joy for those whose rebellion is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of sin, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! (Ps 32:1-2NLT)
I can almost hear the heart-cry of the prodigal son in these words. I can certainly hear my own heart-cry at those times when forgiveness has been so lavishly extended to me.
When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day long.Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.(Ps 32:3-4 NLT)
Oh, yes! The distant land is just like that! Those words 'weak', 'miserable', 'groaned', 'heavy', describe so perfectly what I feel when I am there.
Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, "I will confess my rebellion to the LORD. "And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.(Ps 32:5 NLT)
The words of another hymn come to mind as a reflect on David's testimony
Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven; Who like thee His praise should sing?
There is one last observation that I want to record. It sounds like a contradiction but I am so glad it is not
Therefore, let all the godly confess their rebellion (Ps 32:6 NLT)
I am arrested by the fact that the word "godly" and the word "rebellion" are so closely linked in the same verse. How can a person be godly if there is rebellion in his/her life? Doesn't one disqualify the other? No, they are linked in the one verse by a third word - "confess".
How many times will the Father forgive the prodigal son? How many times will my Heavenly Father forgive me? Seventy times seven? Does that reality of grace make it possible for me to go often to the distant land and to keep on sinning so that grace may abound?
Or does it empower me to stay home and live in the joy and security of my Father's presence? The answer to both questions is "Yes".
That's why I must make my choice every day.
