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• Journal (3)

  3 May, 2015

  Maybe this preparation stage should include some in-depth reflection on the journey to this point? What have I learned… [more]

• Journal (2)

  29 April, 2015

  In my last posting I mentioned about this period of grieving being a time to re-group in readiness for me to resume the… [more]

• Journal (1)

  27 April, 2015

  It is now coming up to 2 weeks since we had that private Cremation Service – the final farewell to my wife of 50… [more]

• Journal 9 + Letter

  2 February, 2015

  Hello again, my love, It should come as no surprise to you that I have a lovely picture of you on my desktop so you… [more]

• Journal 8 + Letter

  1 February, 2015

  I am finding that processing my grief is not something that I should try to control. If I try to do that it will be… [more]

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• Journal (4)

  24 May, 2015

  I never imagined that getting through the loss of one’s life partner would be easy. But I think it is going to be harder than I thought. Every day is replete with reminders of the enormity of what has happened.

  “Hey Dad, I think you should put this with your papers”. In so saying, my son handed me an envelope which contained Bev’s death certificate. It was only a legal document. A piece of paper. But it may as well have been a sledge hammer as it reinforced what I knew to be true. Bev really did die.  Wham!!

  “Here it is, Dad. Sorry it has taken me so long to get it to you”. With those words my daughter handed me a small lace bag. “It’s mum’s wedding ring”. Yes, it was the ring that I had placed on her finger just over 50 years ago as a symbol or pledge of my love. It was the ring she had worn with pride & commitment. Wham!!

  Last Sunday was my 73^rd birthday. It was also Mothers’ Day. The family gathered to celebrate both events. All but one, that is. Wham!!

  Yet, in the midst of emotional pain like I have never known before, there was still a lot of gratitude, laughter and appreciation we each have for the others. And I also realised what a legacy Bev has left for us to enjoy. You cannot leave a legacy unless you live that legacy. She did.

  Tomorrow we are to go and collect her ashes……..Wham!!