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  • JOURNAL 1Journal 40

    25 September, 2015

    Hello My Love, Sometimes I wonder how honest I should be when I write to you. I don’t mean that in the sense of… [more]

  • Jolurnal 39

    22 September, 2015

    Hello Darling, As I sit to write this letter the one dominant feeling is simply how much I miss you. But… [more]

  • Journal 38

    19 September, 2015

    Hi, my darling, My sense of missing you is high today. I don’t know why exactly. I just know that the size of… [more]

  • Journal 37

    15 September, 2015

    Hello again, my love, Yesterday was the 5 month ‘anniversary’ since your death…when you broke… [more]

  • Journal 36

    11 September, 2015

    Sweetheart, Today is one of those days when the reality of your death is all too clear and it strikes deeply into my… [more]

  • JOURNAL 1Journal 40

    25 September, 2015

    Hello My Love,

    Sometimes I wonder how honest I should be when I write to you. I don’t mean that in the sense of being in any way dishonest that is, writing things that I know are not true. Like yesterday, for example.

    I think that yesterday was possibly the worst day I’ve had since you left. Mr. Parkinson gave me curry most of the day. He somehow largely avoided the impact of the medication so my legs especially were restless to the point of painful. I got about 3 or maybe 4 short periods of relief so I should be grateful for that much, at least.

    And do you know what the worst part was? I didn’t have you here to talk about what was happening. It’s at times like that that the sense of your absence is quite acute. There’s a smile on my face as I can almost hear your saying, “When I was there my greatest challenge was to get you to talk at all”!!!  Yes, I know what you mean (even if I think you overstate the situation somewhat). Today has been much better although each dose of medication seems slower to cut in and it doesn’t stay as long.

    As I have indicated in previous letters, I think a lot about heaven these days. The more I think about it the more questions I have. Do you pray in heaven? Do you have to make an appointment for an audience with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? I suppose I’m showing my ignorance and that heaven is entirely of a different kind of existence – like we have never imagined?

    Do you know what comes to mind when I think of heaven? I have a sense of gratitude for the people who told us about Jesus, Saviour and Lord, so we could be reconciled to Him on earth and spend so many years preaching and teaching so that others could spend eternity with Him.

    Another smile or smirk. Do they sing “Blessed Assurance” continually? (The smirk becomes open laughter) I remember you saying on more than one occasion that if they wanted you to sing that song, then you didn’t want to go there.

    KJ came for dinner last night. His wife is overseas at the moment. He checked with me and then bought some take-away Thai which was very nice. I was really grateful for his company, given the kind of day I had. I hope he will come again even though I ‘dumped’ on him a fair bit. Poor blighter!

    I suppose that’s what I mean when I said at the beginning that I don’t know how honest I should be with you. I guess you now have an entirely difference perspective or world view anyway.

     I’m cooking up some Tasmanian Salmon with vegetables for dinner tonight so I had best get to it. I love you, darling, and I miss you. I don’t know how all this end-time stuff will be realised but a re-union sure sounds good to me!!

    But Until Then…

    You remain the love of my life

    Mike

     

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