JOURNAL 55
17 November, 2015
Hi Sweetheart,
I’ve been working on the draft of a Christmas card over the last week. And that may be the reason for my unexpected emotional release this morning. Much of what I am doing re Christmas are the things you & I used to do together. I have completed my mailing list. I have bought the stamps etc .
I was looking for a verse to place in the cards and I ask the question, “Does heaven celebrate Christmas?” My own response is to say that there was a great degree of celebration at that first Christmas time. Then I read the familiar verses
Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”
15 When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” Luke 2:13-15 (NLT)Next thing I’m in tears. I’m in tears because of the word “heaven”!! Believe it or not, there have been times over the last 6 months when this question would intimidate me, “What if there is no heaven?” “What happened to my wife when she died?” (I thought I was beyond that kind of question but grief can play funny tricks on our minds).
But then I read about “the armies of heaven”! And then I read, “When the angels had returned to heaven…”!! This was just the re-assurance I needed. There is such a place as heaven! Jesus talked a lot about heaven. He talked about God His Father (“Our father in heaven….Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven……lay up treasures in heaven”) Being a Pastor (and all) apparently doesn’t exempt me from being undermined by the ‘father of lies’.
My sense is that the closer we get to Christmas the more I am going to feel the intensity of your absence. It is just one of many “firsts” as the days unfold. Not so long ago the pharmacy assistant asked how you were getting along. I knew this would happen sooner or later. Another Robinson first! I thanked her so much for taking an interest in our situation. However, when I told her of your death, she was distraught as though she had caused it somehow. I did what I could to assure her that her care meant so much.
Are these letters getting longer or is that my imagination? I’ll write soon.
But Until Then
You remain the love of my life
Mike